Kings of War has a tournament culture that manages to be both competitive and fun. One of the traditional aspects of tournaments, is allowing a player to challenge another player to a ‘grudge’ match. In Kings of War, the ‘grudge’ is less likely to be a real grudge and more likely to be two players who just want to make sure to get a chance to play one another because they enjoy it.
Some players go the extra mile to add drama and gravity to their grudge matches, by issuing and accepting epic challenges composed of good natured and highly entertaining smack talk; and occasional victory terms involving alcoholic beverages. We at Dash28 encourage and celebrate this fun, and funny, tradition by highlighting epic challenges.
Submitted for your approval: Jake Ciarapica vs Devlin Smith at the upcoming 2019 Siege of Augusta.
The challenge from Jake:
Devlin Smith, last year at Siege of Augusta, your liege, Robert Phaneuf, nominated you to be his champion. Given the Headstrong nature you possessed, something the lord of Counter Charge ironically lacked, you met me on the dusty, dry, field of battle.
It was a story for the ages, as gooey corpses pushed thru, to rub bones with your royal dust. Despite a valiant effort, last year you purged my troops under a hail of arrows, the grind of chariot wheels, and the ever present squawking of your damned carrion birds.
A year has passed, and I have laid my Undead back in their coffins and crypts. My aged bones are retired, and no longer does the ever present groan of the Zombie Troll haunt me.
I have gazed into the abyss, and it looked back, full of Viciousness and of Regeration!
Face me on the field of battle Devlin! When last we met, you were but a puppet, shielding the honor of a lesser man. I was but a Kings of War regional rep, thought by some to be good at this game… This time though, this time let us fight in earnest. Bring your old man bones within my reach, so that I may dye your being neon!
Do you have the stomach for a second round, against the Salmon Pants? You have since seen the erotic power of my dance moves, so I understand if you are appropriately intimidated and must decline :p
The acceptance from Devlin:
Jake Ciarapica née Hutton, I see that I beat you so bad last year that you went and changed your name! But I have to give you props for coming after the real talent instead of getting into the politics of podcasting for a second year. I will gladly accept your challenge and I’m looking forward to doubling down on my wins against you.
You see this year my list may not have any carrion but fear not, for I will still show you that bird is indeed the word. I have no qualms with your obnoxious fashion or provocative hip gyrations, as I have seen them before and they do not faze me. You will uncork a fury on the tabletop not unlike one of those stories you prattle on about in your goodreads lists. Oh, how quickly you forget that I too have a distasteful fashion sense as I am the sexiest man in short-shorts south of the Ohio River.
OR if that’s too distracting for you I can suit up under my Banner of Beef in full hotdog regalia as I exclaim to all that Saturday, January 19th, 2019 will be the day fate takes it out of your sticky hands and for once the weiner will instead beat you.
Moreover, as two highly sophisticated interlopers gifted a spot on their respected masters teams at another’s expense I propose we come up with some sort of bet to be paid over masters weekend. Will it regard attire? Volume Drinking? We can discuss the terms at a later date.
You think you’re man enough to challenge me. But lets raise the stakes by putting our nigh-inexistant dignity on the line for something to make others feel embarassed on our behalf.
Jake and Devlin, Dash28 salutes you!
