Weekend Warrior: A Lady Wargamer

This is a guest article submitted by Ashley Mowat, the hilarious and awesome Canadian wargamer, who is now a much anticipated attendee at North East events. Thanks to Ashley for taking the time to submit and discuss this important topic.

For those of you that have listened to the podcast on Unplugged Radio, you will have heard some of my views and feelings surrounding being a woman who plays Kings of War. Well here we go again. Fingers crossed I don’t get too repetitive.

US Masters

This year I had the pleasure of playing in the US Masters Tournament in San Antino, Texas as a mercenary for the West Coast team. And surprise, I was the only woman playing this year. 1 out of 64. 1.5% of the competitors were women.

Being the only woman meant I stuck out like a sore thumb. People knew my name that I had never even been introduced to and I received a great deal of attention. I was by no means the only woman in the room, as spouses and friends came to cheer on the competitors (or shit talk them depending on who it was). However, I was the only one at a table engaged in the game.

One of the biggest struggles for me at the tournament was feeling like I had to do well because I felt as though I was representing all female gamers and that my failures would reflect poorly on all female gamers. Did it? Probably not. But I couldn’t stand the idea of a man in the room thinking, “see women can’t play as well as men”. The pressure to perform well was on.

Next I felt like a bit like the “token girl”. I am there representing the women. Look at Kings of War being so inclusive with their one woman at US Masters. Yes, you need to qualify to go to Masters, or get lucky enough to Merc for a region short on players, so obviously not just anyone gets to play. I think it shows an overall trend in the game; men dominate the game. Men go to the tournaments, men win the tournaments and men go to Masters. So when you do well enough to tread on this territory, you stand out. I felt like I was very seen. Which is not an experience I am used too.

The Hangout

After most tournaments and masters included, there is the hangout. The Saturday night hangout is filled with cool people, cold drinks and probably some sort of games (I think we are addicted to gaming). Depending on the group, the hangout is a interesting time where you meet the other players spouses and friends who are also in town. We all mingle and it is a great time.

PSA: I love hanging out with the guys. In high school most of my friends were men, and until I started nursing, that remained the case. And now that I am a nurse, there is not much you can say that will shock me, but during the hangouts that don’t include spouses, I feel like a third wheel, if you could third wheel a group. I feel like I am ruining it for the guys. I feel like I am ruining “bro time”. Which for some of the men, it is their bro time; away from their kids, wives and responsibilities for the weekend. So am I intruding or should they just except mine (and others women’s) presence? And since for some it is their weekend away, how do we encourage more women to play if they feel excluded from the hangout. Here, I will say I have felt included probably 70% of the time.

Models

When the episode Be a Biggit not a Bigot came out there was a lot of response to the part of the episode where we discussed models. Specifically, does the gender of models affect the appeal of the game, etc. The responses were mixed and it sparked a lot of debate, some even took time to count up how many models were female.

Here is my thoughts.

1. I, personally, don’t really care that much if the models are male or female.
2. The hordes of infantry could be male or female. The assumption that they are male doesn’t help anything. They could be female. And maybe some of the kits could have a mix of masculine and feminine models. At the end of the day, doesn’t it just add more diversity to the models you are painting?
3. Yes, historically more men fought than women. Well in a game with dragons and magic, that argument is invalid. And if women were given the chance, I think we would be right up there in the thick of things.
4. If a woman thinks there is not enough female aspect models, then there isn’t. Not for her. End of story.

Past Events

When I started dating my spouse, I accompanied him to some tournaments where he played Warhammer 40k. I think out of all the times I brought him lunch, or popped in to say “hey”, I remember 2 people. I never felt acknowledged or included by the people playing the game there. The feeling of otherness and being separate was more apparent to me in those rooms than any other place I have played. I don’t think that it is ‘one game and it’s players are good, and the other is bad’. I have simply had worse experiences there than anywhere else. I only ever saw a small population of the gamers.

I have had the privilege of attending a number of tournaments in the Pacific Northwest and Northeast over the last few years. I have had very few poor experiences, and it is never an event, it is only ever a game here and there. I had an occasion where an opponent basically told me I was an idiot. After a game of unmarking bases, and questionable charges, I was frustrated and had to hold back crying. This is the worst I have had. I like to think it wasn’t a ‘me’ thing, and I hope it wasn’t.

The Good Stuff

Now some of the great things about this community is that 98% of the time, I feel welcome at the table. Sometimes I feel a little underestimated, but if I can win or at least make it harder for you to win, it’s a moral victory. And once in awhile being underestimated and then kicking ass feels damn good.

The community of players we have in Kings of War is amazing. As a woman, I would not be comfortable being alone with that many dudes in most scenarios. In a room full of KoW players, especially ones that I know, I can be the nerdy ‘gamer’ with no judgement. I have many friends that play this game, and most I meet through the game. Now I know people from all over the US and that is pretty damn cool.

Another Girl’s Opinion

I reached out to Eileen who plays out in the pacific northwest. I asked her for her opinion as well. She told me, she has only had one poor experience and it was because of another woman. She went on to say that there are occasionally those who can’t stop staring. Which I can attest to. Eileen also commended the gaming community as she sees it moving more from a “boys club” to something more inclusive.

I think she sums things up quite nicely by saying: “Ultimately people just really need to be mindful of themselves and be kind to one another regardless of gender. We’re all here to play, and that’s what should matter.”