So as you may know, the LAST time I planned to go to Adepticon, shortly before Covid ruined the fun for everyone (because cancelling my attendance at a board game convention is clearly the most impactful aspect of the global pandemic), I was supposed to be playing a round 1 challenge against the magnificent Kyle Przlenski.
Kyle, realising I’m coming back this year, apparently has pulled some strings so he’s suddenly “unable to play”, the giant massive coward, and so there’s me, Johnny come foreigner, all alone in the woods. I like to know what I’m getting into, see? Scout out the terrain, do a little recon, take stock of my enemy. Otherwise I could walk into Adepticon and be faced with a round one opponent that’s actually good at the game, and that just won’t do.
So I cast around for a suitable opponent, and like a game of “guess who”, just ended up picking someone who had a vaguely similar beard. I mean, you’ll do, right?
Of course I kid. I kid! I was so excited to hear you’d be at Adepticon I immediately jumped on the old MS Messenger to hit up Jeremy Duvall to get the dirt on Sir Brinton of Williams.
“Hey Jeremy!”, I enthused, “Give me some dirt on Brinton Williams!”
And then, after I explained who you were, he was all, “Oh yeah, that guy. He’s really nice.”
Absolutely, if you’ll pardon my French, bloody useless.
So here’s how it is, big lad. I don’t wish to scare you, but I’m kind of a big deal. I’m not saying people know who I am, but lemme just say, when I walk into a Kings of War Tournament, people sigh and look a little pained. I’m that guy. Plus I’m bringing my A game. And when I say A game, I mean I’m playing a brand new army that I’ve played three times, and one of those times, I actually won.
So come on, stats-man, let’s go at it. Mano-a-mano. Like two goliaths of the Kings of War scene, and by goliaths, I mean people that Jake bullies into occasionally writing for Dash 28.
You know David Seaman would accept. He’s the kind of man that’d never back down from a challenge. And incidentally, the fact you even know who David Seaman is, when you’re supposed to be interested in Hockey, or that one where you hit the ball with a stick, is both terrifying and confusing to me. I’ve not paid any attention to football since about 1995, when Watford were in the first division. I’m that old. I do know that means you probably like Arsenal, which means I’m rapidly going off you. I don’t think we’re supposed to like people who like Arsenal. I need to check with someone that understands football.
COME ON THEN, YOU BIG OL’ CHUNK OF MAN. WILL YOU BE MY DATE AT THE BALL OR NOT?
