A Totally Unbiased Twilight Kin Reaction Article

They disappeared from the tomes and faded into memory, returning this season to visit torture and misery upon the world. Kind of like the bizarre resurgence of the mullet amongst the youth of today. Horrors of indescribable depravity and nightmare seeking the return of a lost era. Also like the resurgence of the mullet. Bringing a unique mix of business and fun… ok I swear I’m not still talking about the mullet. Any way, here are my top takeaways…

They’ll gut you whilst listening to The Cure
How Often Do You Think of the Roman Empire?

Chances are you’ll reflect on the glory of a lost civilisation pretty regularly. Some of you are probably history buffs, the rest will no doubt consider Rome because you too want to be destroyed by Goths. With the Corsairs you can live out those fantasies whilst sipping your snakebite and listening to Bauhaus.

Pfffttt ahaahhahahaha
Phallic Victories, Wait, Did I Mean Pyrrhic?

It’s a bold choice to release a dragon that looks like a double dildo but here we are. This Void-Charged beast is Voracious and Nimble. Ideally designed to get behind the foe. For the love of all that is good in this world, don’t paint it flesh colour.

He finds beauty in the grotesque and macabre
That Guy You Think is Cool Until You Meet Him

We all know someone like this. Looks the part and has a sweet motorbike. Turns up and dances like a pro. Absolutely captivates the entire club as he swans over to the bar and nurses the same pint of Guinness all night. Just don’t bother talking to the boring, self-absorbed loser. There’s a reason he’s single.

I just…
Tentacle Monsters Pulsing Before Us

Oh for fu… work with me here Mantic. We’ve all seen those particular anime films.

I give up. Let’s just go back the the mullet joke and leave it at that.

About Jessica Townshend

Jess has been wargaming since the close of the 20th century. When not building tanks from plasti-card she can be found staring in terror at her painting backlog. Rumour has it she can explain THAC0.

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2 Comments on “A Totally Unbiased Twilight Kin Reaction Article”

    1. The naughtiest of Elves is Argus Rodinar (he knows what he did) these are a close second.

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